I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much we create our own experience of life. Our perceptions and interpretations of life’s events really do create our reality. Two people can see a situation completely differently – the same thing can happen to two people but one can be completely shattered by it and the other completely unaffected.
The way we choose to react to a situation, or even a feeling, is largely based on our past experiences and what we’ve “learned” along the way.
It has become very clear to me that a large source of our pain and suffering in our lives comes from one thing: lack of acceptance of what’s happening or what we’re feeling.
We suffer when we resist what’s happening in our lives.
We suffer when we resist how we’re feeling.
We suffer when we want so badly for something to be different than it IS.
Most of the time we don’t even realize we’re resisting something. But when we feel any sort of pain, anxiety, or discomfort, chances are we are resisting vs. accepting.
My clients experience this a lot around their feelings. They feel lonely, bored, stressed, or overwhelmed and instead of just accepting “Yep, I am really effing bored” or “I feel really lonely right now”, they panic. They panic, they feel that it is not OKAY to feel these feelings, they’re scared of them, they deem them “bad”, and so they turn to food to push them away.
It’s like… the feelings are over there, and I am over here. And I need to keep a safe distance.
But what if we just accepted how we felt? What if we accepted whatever was truly going on for us in that moment?
What if we welcomed those feelings and allowed them to wash over us instead of desperately pushing them away and keeping them at a distance?
What’s so bad about feeling lonely, bored, depressed, sad, scared, anxious, uncertain or stressed?
I remember the time when I started to accept my feelings vs. resist them, and I no longer felt this panic around them and therefore needed to turn to food less and less.
I still work on this every day in my life, in many ways.
I am the first one to kick and scream desperately wanting a situation to change.
But I don’t WANT to feel this way.
I don’t WANT this to be happening to me. Make it go away.
Then, I try to go back to feelings of acceptance, and it’s like this weight is lifted off my shoulders. I can stop trying to run away from the present moment, I can stop trying to change or control the situation to be different than it is.
I am confident that parts of your life aren’t exactly as you’d like them to be right now. Maybe you’re beating yourself up for carrying around 30 extra pounds, or that you’re single, or a situation didn’t turn out as expected, or you’re wishing you could be further along in your career.
I want to invite you to move from a place of resistance to whatever it is you’re resisting to a place of acceptance of what is.
Accept What Is.
The next time you feel lonely, let it be. Welcome it in. Say hello. Know that everyone feels this. Watch what this does to your impulse to reach for cookies.
The next time life throws you a curve ball, see how much acceptance you can welcome it with. It may not be what you wanted to see happen, but know that you have a choice as to how you react: you can react with resistance, stomping your foot and wanting it to be different, or you can react with compassionate acceptance.
I’m right there with you, working on this one every day. I promise that keeping these three words in mind will help you experience yourself and your life in a different way.
What do you think about this? What do you need to practice “acceptance” with in your life? Let me know how this goes for you if you give it a shot!
P.S. I’m opening my 6 month coaching program back up this summer. Consultations will be in June and the program will start in July and end in December. To get on the wait list, sign up here! We’ll reach out to you in the next month to get you set up for a consult.