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the power and importance of pleasure

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As I sit here in a coffee shop in Seattle, with a fire roaring next to me, views of the ocean surrounding me, and sipping my cold brew, it seems like an appropriate time to talk about pleasure.

There was a (long) time in my life when life felt hard. Really hard. Stiff. Stressful. Constantly stressful.

It wasn’t necessarily that my life WAS harder, it just FELT harder.

It felt harder because I approached life through the lense of stress, pushing, fighting, and with an underlying mindset that “to get what I want, things need to feel hard.”

To feel good about my body, I had to deprive myself of foods I loved, maintain constant willpower to eat clean, and exercise daily, even if I didn’t feel like it. 

To be successful in a career, I needed to throw myself into the hardest, most challenging roles, and work my butt off. 

I always needed to improve myself, fix myself, and make myself better in some way or another.

I was never able to just relax and enjoy myself and my life.

I was always STRIVING.

I had vague visions of a day when I would really be able to just be present and enjoy my life, but that felt like it was for the future, not for now.

I hadn’t earned that yet.

Several years ago, I woke the F up and realized that life is NOW and that… wait a minute… I could enjoy my life today. I was the only person stopping myself.

There was no grand jury telling me that pleasure wasn’t for me now, it was just my own perception and my own mindset that was depriving me of that kind of life.

Over the last several years, I’ve worked to rewire my brain for pleasure. For ease. For thinking about life RIGHT NOW and trying to make it as fun and enjoyable as possible.

I’ve migrated away from “life has to be hard” to “life is meant to be fully enjoyed”.


With that mindset, everything has changed.

I eat foods I love NOW.

I wear clothes that make me feel expressive, creative, and myself NOW.

I make every day as amazing as it possibly can be (even when I have things to do that I don’t want to do).

I sneak in moments of leisure whenever possible (just reading a book in a cafe or going for a walk without my phone feels like leisure… it’s the little things).

I hang out with people I really want to spend time with.

I invest money in things that truly make me happy — anything from a massage to a coaching program to a trip somewhere.

I laugh as often as possible and seek out people and experiences that bring that out in me.

I run a business in a way that feels as joyful as possible – of course, like in any career, there are lots of not joyful things, but I aim for joy as much as I can.

I rest and relax all the time, knowing that by following the natural rhythms and needs of my body, I can spring forward with more energy and a “fuller cup” when it’s go time.

I surround myself with beauty – a (mostly) clean apartment, traveling to beautiful places, farmers markets, walks in nature, pretty restaurants, etc.

I’ve come a long, long way in terms of my relationship to my joy and pleasure. It has had a massive impact on me, and I have seen the impact it has had on many women I’ve worked with when they focus on their own pleasure.

Pleasure transforms.

It is way more powerful than you may think.

It returns us to our natural state of joy, it lightens us up, it opens us up to our creativity and creative problem solving, it helps us access our intuition and returns us to a state of love and ease.

I would encourage you to ask yourself today… how can I make my day more pleasurable? Start small with the little things. A meal you can thoroughly enjoy. A book you can spend 20 minutes reading. A cafe you can visit. Wearing a scarf that makes you happy. 

I also want to let you know that my friend Malaine Lea is running a free “21-days to Divine Pleasure Journey”, in which you will be able to access tools, resources, and insights from 26 experts (including me!!) that will enhance the pleasure and joy in your life.

This series will provide you with procedures, rituals, and step by step guides to living a pleasurable life.

It’s juicy.

It’s going to help you access your pleasure.

It’s going to show you how to flip the switch on “life has to be hard” to “life can actually be divinely joyful, delicious, and abundant”.

When Malaine approached me about this… and I saw that it was focused on pleasure… it was an immediate YES for me. There are few things I care about more than continuing down a path of more and more pleasure in my life and helping you embrace more in yours.

If you’re looking for a more pleasurable life, I hope you partake in this gift from Malaine (you can sign up for free here). And even if not, I hope you consider opening yourself up to more pleasure and joy in your life wherever you can.

Sending you lots of love and JOY your way today!





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This place is for you: To explore what your soul needs to hear today.

I mainly write about Inner CriticSelf-CareFollowing Your IntuitionLife + Evolving, and the occasional Recipe. Enjoy!