I used to feel absolutely insane around sugar.
Like, I wouldn’t eat it for a while because it was BAD, but then I would find myself completely out of control around it.
It’s like something in me would snap, and all of a sudden I would go into a “trance – like state” and just consume sugary food after sugary food without even knowing what I was doing.
It wasn’t pretty.
I wasn’t just eating ONE cookie. It was more like five or six.
I wasn’t just eating ONE ice cream cone. I have a memory of going for a walk around my NYC neighborhood one particularly rough evening and eating FOUR ice cream cones, one after the next. Making sure I got each cone from a different ice cream shop, so nobody would find out how much I was eating.
So that nobody would find out how gross I was.
How out of control I was.
How big of a failure I was.
Yep, this was my life for many years.
Those first few bites of sugar tasted so good and would be SO exciting, but deep down I was in so much pain.
WTF is wrong with me?
How am I ever going to stop doing this?
Unfortunately, I kept making the same mistake over and over again that I see so many women making:
After every sugar binge, I came up with a “grand plan” – aka a grand diet – to fix my situation. Surely, I believed, CONTROLLING myself would fix my problem.
While it temporarily felt good to feel “in control” after feeling so “out of control” around sugar, ultimately choosing more control was my downfall.
It caused a repeated pattern: control, binge, control, binge, control, binge.
It wasn’t until many years later that I would finally learn that choosing CONTROL was my biggest mistake.
To heal my destructive pattern, I had to learn an entirely new paradigm.
One based on ALLOWANCE, FREEDOM, and LOVING and TRUSTING MYSELF.
These things were scary as heck and unknown, but were the best things I ever chose to do.
Today, my relationship with sugar is incredibly easy.
I can sit with a plate of gooey chocolate chip cookies in front of me for hours and feel total ease. I eat what feels good for my body at the time, and that’s that.
Pints of ice cream can last in my freezer for weeks without me even remembering they are there. And if at any point I consciously choose to eat half a pint of ice cream in one sitting just because I feel like it, I do it happily and with no guilt.
I often find half eaten chocolate bars in my purse that I have forgotten I even had on me.
Desserts at holidays and parties excite me instead of scare me.
I never worry that I will “snap and lose control”.
I love sugar.
It’s fun, it tastes delicious, and it’s a part of my life I would never want to give up.
But I have an effortless balance with it now, because of all of the INNER work I have done to shift my relationship with it.
There are MULTIPLE pieces of the puzzle to moving from feeling crazy around sugar to feeling at ease around it (allowance is ONE of them).
And I want to help you with this.
Because feeling at ease around SUGAR (or carbs, or fats, etc.) is life changing.
Right now, for instance, I am sitting at a cafe with cookies and muffins and croissants surrounding me, and I feel total ease. I am able to put 100% of my attention on YOU, on THIS, on my WORK, on my LIFE. If I still felt insane around sugar, I wouldn’t be able to fully show up for ME, or for YOU.
Healing your relationship with food is important. Not for the skinny body, but because you deserve to be IN YOUR LIFE instead of IN YOUR HEAD at all times.
This is close to my heart because of where I’ve been.
I want to teach you about all the pieces of the puzzle that shifted it all for me.
That helped me go from craziness to ease.
From constantly in my head to FULLY in my LIFE.
From feeling like a gross failure to feeling like I can actually trust myself and I am wiser than I ever thought possible.
From feeling powerless to feeling EMPOWERED.
Want to learn?
Sending you lots of sweet (get it? <3) love.