There were times in my life when it felt relatively easy to thrive. Like, I knew what it took for me to feel in the flow. To feel good. To feel really happy and at peace with my life + the way I was living it.
And then lately, there have been some times when that has felt harder.
Like, during COVID.
- We found ourselves unexpectedly living with my parents for 2.5 years as we found a home in Florida.
- Going through IVF to try to have a baby.
- We had very few friends in the area, after leaving our friends in SF + NYC when we moved.
- And of course dealing with the reality of a pandemic.
I looked around me and said, ‘everything is so different. I really don’t know how to thrive right now’.
But I knew I had to try to figure it out. I really believe that while there is so much in life we can’t control, there is a lot we can.
So I slowly figured out how to bloom during that very challenging phase. I look back at that time and can honestly say that given the situation, I made the absolute best of it and it ended up being one of the most meaningful times in my life.
And then last year, so much changed again.
- I had a baby and suddenly 95% of my thoughts were going toward this little girl, and far less energy was going toward myself + my needs.
- As a first time mom, I was met with more anxiety and emotion than I was prepared for, and was trying to understand this new reality.
- I paused my business to go on maternity leave, and then a few months later had to figure out how to revive it, but in a very different state. What did I want to do with my business now? I felt like such a different person after becoming a mom and wanted to figure out how to reignite my business in a way that felt aligned and authentic to where I was.
- I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to work vs. be with Charlotte and how much childcare I wanted (while balancing our financial desires + needs). My heart was being pulled in different directions and I was struggling to find a balance that felt right.
- We moved into a new home, in a new town. My physical space was suddenly so different and I was trying to adjust to the new norm and create a physical environment that helped me thrive.
- I craved friends who I could have a glass of wine with and talk for hours to on the couch, but knew it was going to take us a while to build those friendships in a new place. I felt resistant to making friends because it was so much more (+ I’m an introvert, hi!), and I had just gone through making new friends in the last place we lived.
- Ryan and I were navigating an entirely new phase of our marriage — both juggling so much, with so much more ‘responsibility’ now. A home, a baby, etc. How do we keep our spark alive? How do we each have time to do what matters to us? How do I still bring soft, relaxed feminine energy to our marriage when I have endless things to do all the time?
I looked around me at the landscape of my life and said, “everything is really SO different now. While I am SO grateful for my life, am *I* really blooming right now?”
I couldn’t honestly answer that with a ‘yes’.
Why? Truthfully, because I had just gotten out of the habit of coming back to myself. With so much change going on around me, I put myself on the back-burner.
I just wanted everyone and everything else to be okay, and I figured I would be ‘fine‘.
But, as soon as I asked myself this question + realized my answer, I knew something needed to change.
Because, I didn’t want to just be ‘fine’. I wanted to freakin’ bloom.
And frankly, the people in my life wanted me to bloom, too. Because when you bloom, everyone around you benefits from it, too.
So, I started figuring out how to bloom — in this current, messy, beautiful phase of my life.
- I started asking myself the bigger questions.
- I started having really, really honest conversations.
- I started coming back to my intuition — the part of me that always knows what I need + is always trying to speak to me — and finding space to listen.
- I started shifting things from that place — from the place of my intuition + truth.
It was a time that felt like there was a lot of ‘sludge’ to sort through, but I kept pressing on.
And the result?
- I’ve never felt so fulfilled with my life when my head hits the pillow at night
- My marriage has deepened and strengthened as we’ve had such honest, real, open conversations about what we both need to bloom in this phase of life
- I love the balance I’m continuing to find between all the parts of me: being a mom + a wife + a business owner + a friend
- I’m excited about my work + freakin’ proud of myself for doing the things that light me up, even when I have so many other things to think about these days, too
- I’ve found ways to take care of my health + my body — even though it looks so different these days
- I’ve leaned into friendships and love the women –older friends + newer friends — who I get to walk through life with
Is everything perfect?
No way. Life is always changing + evolving + messy.
And I am still on the journey of continuing to ‘bloom’. I hope to always be.
But I’m so glad I slowed down enough to ask myself new questions, and really listen.
I got back into the habit of tending to my whole being.
Because I know so many of you are in similar shoes.
- You’re busy.
- You’re going through changes + transitions.
- You might feel a little distant from yourself + your truth right now.
- You may be out of the habit of tending to your whole being.
You want to feel more than ‘fine’. You want to ‘bloom’.
Within the walls of bloom, you’ll have the sacred space to come back to yourself.
To ask yourself the bigger questions that allow you to feel more than just ‘fine’.
To tune into your intuition to guide you in motherhood, your work, your marriage, your life.
To find deep fulfillment + flow in your every day life.
I honestly can’t freakin’ wait to see the wisdom that’s going to flow into this community.
P.S. The founding member rate of $111/month expires TONIGHT + then the rate will go up. You can absolutely still join throughout the month of April, but the price will be a bit higher.