So you wanna feel confident, eh?

 

Today I want to share with you a consistent theme that I keep hearing from women. I really believe in “signs” from the universe and if everyone keeps saying this to me, then I want to share it!

A theme that keeps coming up is this: Confidence.

Women want to feel more confident.

They want to feel better about their bodies, but more so about themselves.

They want to have that confidence back that they used to have when they were younger, before they started struggling with food.

They want to feel confident enough to date, to wear cute clothes, to go out and socialize more often, to ask for a raise, or to find a new job.

It’s not surprising to me that women who struggle with food also struggle with confidence. Imagine that you had a daughter, maybe you do, maybe you don’t. So let’s name this daughter, we’ll call her Abby. So let’s say that you constantly told Abby that she was doing something wrong. You told her that she couldn’t eat what she wanted to eat, couldn’t wear what she wanted to wear, and that if she ate three cookies instead of just one that she was a failure and a total screw up.

I think Abby’s confidence would be pretty shattered. She would question herself, her desires, her actions, her thoughts, her needs, and she would turn into someone who didn’t believe in who she was and thought that everything was wrong with her.

This is sad, but the reality is that for all of us who have spent years dieting with food, this is actually how we treat ourselves. We tell ourselves that we can’t have that pizza or that sandwich, we actually need to go for the salad. And we tell ourselves that although we were born with hips, we need to change that in order to look better. And we tell ourselves that we are failures for blowing off a diet and not being able to eat and exercise in a certain way.

And what happens when we constantly tell ourselves “no” and that we did something or ARE something “wrong”, is that our confidence slowly breaks down. We question our own judgement, we believe that we can’t trust our bodies, and that there is something inherently messed up with the way we work.

I was the same way. When I struggled with food, my confidence was at an all-time low. I beat myself up every time I binged, ate something I wasn’t supposed to, or skipped a workout. I sent a constant message to myself that I was wrong, a failure, and not good enough.

What I see all the time is that when we beat ourselves up in one area of our lives, we beat ourselves up in all areas of our lives too. We don’t trust ourselves, we feel disconnected from our own inner guidance, and we look outside for answers. The more we do this, the less confident we become.

Ready for the good news??

As soon as you start working on your relationship with food and start trusting your body again to know what’s best for you, you start to feel like “wow, all I had to do this whole time was trust MYSELF to know how to eat?? that’s crazy pants.” And you slowly start building this trusting, solid relationship with yourself and feel like you do have the answers, your body is right, and there is nothing wrong with you.

Then, that starts trickling into the rest of your life. In social settings, you feel more comfortable being yourself, in romantic relationships you feel more solid in standing in your truth, at work you’re able to express yourself more authentically.

Do you see how all of that works?

So now here’s what you can do now in order to start feeling more general confidence:

Let it all start with food. That is your gateway to greater confidence. The next time you feel a craving for something come along, say YES. Just do it. If you have salmon and broccoli planned for dinner but what you really want it pizza, go for it. Maybe you really need the fat and the taste. You need to tell that little girl, Abby, inside of you that her cravings are okay and that you’re listening. And if you start craving cookies at every single meal, ask that girl what she really needs. Is she tired? Lonely? Upset? Go there, take care of her.

And for 10 more tips on how to immediately feel more confident, check out the article I wrote for Mind Body Green that was published yesterday.

I’d love to hear in the comments, do you feel like your confidence has gone down as you started struggling with food? What step are you going to take to connect back to yourself and go within?

P.S. I am hosting a unique hour long Q&A call to the Intuitive Eating Community tonight , just to answer any questions as they go through the journey of becoming more intuitive Eaters. It’s at 7pm EST, so if you’re on the fence about signing up for the Challenge, go sign up quickly and you can join in the call tonight!

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