What most people don’t know about my ‘weight loss story’ (and if you’re stuck, read this)

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I used to struggle with food… and now I don’t. I used to obsess over the calories I was consuming… and now I have no clue what I consume. I used to feel crazy around sugar… and now ice cream can chill out in my freezer for months.

These things are all true and I am so incredibly thankful for them, but there’s also something else I feel like needs to be said…

This all took me a long time. Not days, weeks, or even months. It took me around two years to finally feel free around my relationship with food and my body (and as a result, lose all the weight). 

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Here’s the thing:

As human beings, while we want to make changes in our lives, there are certain parts of us that are actually against change.

While this sounds like a bad thing (why would a part of us not want us to make positive changes!?), these parts of us that DON’T want us to change are actually there to protect us.

These parts are in charge of our survival, and on a very basic level, they think “well I am surviving by doing things the way I am, so if I change, I may die. It might not be safe.”

So while we want to change there are subconscious parts of us that are trying to protect us from making those very changes. 

And this is when we get those “sabotaging” thoughts:

You can’t just “listen to your body”! If you do, you will get fat. You must count calories.

Oh that diet looks so great! Let’s do that. That’s safe. It gives me a lot of control, and I like control. 

Bathing suit season is coming up! I need to drop 10 pounds. So let me lay out my plan for how I am going to eat and workout between now and then… 

I feel really uncomfortable. I hate this feeling and I don’t want to feel it. Where’s the Ben and Jerry’s? 

Recognize these voices? They’ll likely come in as soon as you’re making some sort of positive changes.

It will feel like you take one step forward, then two steps back. One step forward, two steps back.

This can be really frustrating for us. It feels like we’ll never get it, we’ll never get there. We will always struggle with this. We are hopeless.

But here’s what I want you to know:

Change takes time.

I lost 40 pounds over the course of 2 or 3 years, not 3 months.

I took lots of steps forward and lots of steps backward. I would go without a binge for three weeks, then all of a sudden I’d find myself deep into a pint of ice cream. I’d look at it as a learning experience and then I’d keep moving forward. I’d go another 2 months without a binge, and then find myself overeating again. I’d learn. More steps forward, more setbacks. More steps forward, more sabotaging thoughts.

Slowly but surely, that little part of me that was scared that if I changed that I would die started to see that it was safe.

It was safe to stop controlling my food.

It was safe to start to like my body.

It was safe to eat bread, cheese, wine, beer, and cookies.

And now, a few years later, I never have sabotaging thoughts in this area of my life. I can’t tell you the last time I binged or really overate. But it took time. Parts of me were scared, and they needed time to adjust.

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So here’s what I want you to do:

Go easy on yourself.

Be Patient.

Appreciate every single step forward that you take and learn from every setback. Those setbacks NEED to happen, do not resist them or give up because they happen. 

If you have dipped your toes into trying a new way but you’re scared, know that it’s okay and it’s normal. You’re supposed to feel a little scared.

And if you felt “free” around food for the last month but now you’re freaking out about it again, that’s okay. It happens.

And if you have been feeling great about your body but then you looked at that skinny woman on the street and now you’ve been tearing yourself up and researching your next diet, know that this is all part of your path.

We’re supposed to get tripped up. We’re supposed to have setbacks.

Making changes is not a straight, linear line. It’s messy, twisty and curvy. Your job is to just stay on the road.  (click to tweet!)

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Interact with your fears. Recognize your sabotaging thoughts, but remember what you’re moving toward, what you’re choosing to believe instead.

Give yourself time to lose weight. Time to transform your relationship with food. Time to learn to love yourself.

There’s no rush. Your life can be enjoyed right now either way. Relax into the journey, you’re exactly where you need to be.

Love,
Jamie

P.S. I’m opening my 6 month coaching program back up this summer. Consultations will be in June and the program will start in July and end in December. To get on the wait list, sign up at the bottom of this page! We’ll reach out to you in the next month to get you set up for a consult.

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  1. YES to all of this. Seriously took me years to finally get total mental freedom from food (you were a big part of this progress) and I think people think it can happen in a matter of weeks. Love this post lady. <3

  2. Jamie – I needed this post right now. I have come so far with my relationship to food and my body in the past year but sometimes I get frustrated with the fact that I am not ‘totally there’ yet. I still catch myself counting calories every now and then, I still emotionally eat at night when I am lonely sometimes and I can still get down on myself for not being active for a few days.

    But as you said- it takes time! And I have come SO far that I can’t wait to see where I am at next year this time.

    THANK YOU as always for your honesty and wisdom!

    • I love this: “I can’t wait to see where I am at next year this time”. Me neither, great way to look at things, Kate! xoxo.

  3. Thanks for this post – I needed it today!

Trackbacks

  1. […] Eventually, the unexpected “lessons” (binges, etc.) became less and less intense and less and less frequent, until finally, overtime, they completely stopped. […]

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