Hello from the sky!
I’m writing you today from somewhere in between New York and San Diego. I’m headed to San Diego for the next five days for some personal development time. I love learning and continuing to become a better person and coach so I can give you as much as possible
So, late last night I got an email that sparked my post for today. I got an email from my designer desperately asking me for an extension on a project that she’s working on for me. She wrote me this long message telling me how sorry she was for needing more time, but the project ended up being more complicated than she originally thought. She felt so terrible and I could tell she was swimming in overwhelm when she wrote it.
It’s funny because although I could tell she was stressed out and really nervous to ask me, my response was so easy: Of course!! Take more time. We decided on a new deadline and she was SO relieved. I sat there smiling, knowing that I helped make her night and week a little bit easier. Although it was hard for her to do, I am so glad that she asked for more time. Given the circumstances, it was an easy “yes” on my part, and made a big difference in her week.
This made me think about how scared we often are to ask for favors. And when we don’t ever ask for favors, we often times end up in a state of overwhelm. But when we DO ask for favors, our lives can become a lot easier and less stressful.
This experience also reminded me of something that happened with my boyfriend the other day. There was some household chore that I really didn’t want to do. It was hanging over me all day, I was dreading it, and it was weighing me down. I decided to ask for help.
Me: hey, I have a really really big favor to ask you…. eeeek…. can you do this for me?
Him: Jamie, that’s not a really big favor. Of course I can do that.
Me: oh. well that was easy.
Immediately, there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt so much lighter and happier.
Women who struggle with food and their weight often have something in common: we think we are superwomen. We try to do everything. We are overwhelmed.
And when we are overwhelmed and burnt out, we eat.
And when we have tasks hanging over our head that are stressing us out, we eat.
The thing with favors is this:
Just like with my boyfriend and my designer, what seems like a massive favor to one person may be no big deal to another person.
You may absolutely despise doing the dishes, but your partner doesn’t mind doing them.
You may be freaking out about a deadline, but the person you are delivering it to is actually much more flexible about timing than you think.
You may think that having your friend come over to your house vs. you going there is too much to ask, but they may actually want to come over to your place.
Catch my drift?
And if what you ask can’t be done, or the other person doesn’t want to, the worst case scenario is that they say no. But you’ll never know until you try.
I want you to take a survey of the remainder of your week and your upcoming weekend right now. Ask yourself these questions:
Do you have too much on your plate?
What are you dreading doing?
What feels really heavy and stressful for you?
If you could get rid of one task, what would it be?
Who can you ask for help?
Here are a few suggestions to get you thinking:
- Look to see if you can delegate a task or two to someone else. Even if it’s something as simple as finding a dinner reservation, ask if someone else wouldn’t mind taking care of this one.
- Ask your partner to do a particular favor around the house (prepping food, cleaning up a particular room, doing the laundry, taking the kids somewhere). Explain that you’re feeling overwhelmed, and see if he/she has time to take care of it.
- Find out if your perceived deadlines are necessary. See if there are any deadlines that can be rearranged to give you some more time.
- Ask a friend if they can meet up with you a little closer to where you live so you aren’t traveling as far.
It’s always the little things that add up, so if you can get some help in the little corners of your life, it can add up to make a big difference.
Tell me, what is one favor you are going to ask for today? Really think about this one, and write it below in the comments for accountability. I’d love to know!